Dear Queenie, I am a 25 year old woman, student, and worker. I try to make smart choices, and therefore had waited to have a family. I met my boyfriend Pit 7 years ago. During all this time we broke up several times, because we are very different and we can’t agree or understand each other most of the time (among other problems). He is 9 years older than me. So age is part of the issue, or at least I considered being. He is the serious type of guy, responsible, and respectful. Continue reading Two Wonderful Men To Choose From
Author: Queenie
A Man From Her Past
Dear Queenie: I have got a whale of a predicament! I have been dating my boyfriend for 7 months, as well as having him live with me, but a man from my past has entered the picture once again. My mom introduced me to my boyfriend and we were inseparable. However, for the last 3 months, our relationship has been increasingly tense and my sexual drive towards him is decreasing into nonexistance. Continue reading A Man From Her Past
She’s In His Will?
My high school sweetheart and I starting dating again about 3 years ago–both divorced. We see each other almost every day: dinner, movies, trips, events etc. I love her completely and date no others. Our sex life is awesome. The past year and half or so, an old boy friend she dated about 10 years ago–after her divorce–started calling her. Continue reading She’s In His Will?
Eight Months Pregnant
I’m eight months pregnant and on bed rest due to signs of preterm labor. I can’t work or venture to the grocery store. My boyfriend told me that he can’t stand me and I have pretty solid proof that he’s been sleeping with someone else. We don’t live together, but I’m thinking of moving to get away from the whole situation. I like my doctor here, and when I’m back from maternity related leave I have a job that I like as well. Continue reading Eight Months Pregnant
Back From Paradise
I spent the past two months cruising and visiting some of the most beautiful places in the world. Of course a lot of the time I spent playing cards with some of the old ladies I met on the ship, and even more time I spent feeding nickels into slot machines so I could get free pina coladas. Continue reading Back From Paradise
Doesn’t Want To Be A Fool Again
Dear Queenie, my bf of 7yrs. works in banking. he has been fired several times or just gets moved around to different banks. every time he goes to a new branch or bank he get infatuated with a co worker. I have only known him 7 years but before that I think it was the same when he was married. Most of the ladies I think are flattered but not really interested in him as he is not very good looking. one lady a few years ago lead him on I think to make her other boyfriend jealous or for gifts that he would lavish on her. as a rule he is not very gorgeous. Continue reading Doesn’t Want To Be A Fool Again
Worried About Her BFF’s BF
Dear Queenie, my best friend of 14 years has been in a long-distance relationship for more than a year now. She moved away for college about two years back and I’ve only recently met her boyfriend. For some reason I’m not getting good vibes from him and his behaviour seems too obsessive. He doesn?t let her be friends with guys or even go to parties if he is not around. If for some reason she is unable to pick his calls he calls me asking where she is. My friend seems different now from when we started college. She used to laugh and go out a lot but now she just sits at home and just seems sad in general. Continue reading Worried About Her BFF’s BF
Attracted To A Married Man: VI
Hey Queenie!! I hope all is well with you!! I just wanted to stop by and give you an update! I did call my MM to give him my condolences about his dad passing (I would have done the same for any other co-worker as well) and he said that it meant alot to him. We talked briefly, and both realized (again) that had we continued it would have been a total disaster. He also realized what he has in his relationship with his wife and is even more appreciative of her now (if that’s possible?) Continue reading Attracted To A Married Man: VI
Only Friends?
Just found out there is a women who is coming on to my bf. he has told her he wants to only be friends because he is with me. but she is trying to get him to call her. telling him to call when i am a sleep or go out so she can tell him what she wants to do to him. sending him pic of her boobs and storys of them having sex and asking him to call her and meet her. Continue reading Only Friends?
Self-Fulfilling Prophecy?
I hold a very stressful position in the US military which has recently required me to be away from home for months at a time. During these times apart my wife of 6 years has wrongfully accused me many times of cheating. She has been so paranoid that she will randomly call up my friends from work to validate every detail of my story in order to try and catch me in a lie. Continue reading Self-Fulfilling Prophecy?
Attracted To A Married Man: V
Hi Queenie, I’m just curious, why have you not responded to my latest emails? Are you disgusted/done with me? Or are you simply too busy? Just so you know, my MM’s father recently died, and I still have not called him. It happened last Sunday. I really want to just send him a message that I care, but don’t want to get into that whole mess again. Should I contact him? Can I? He hasn’t been at work for me to contact him safely. I figure he’s got enough going on. Continue reading Attracted To A Married Man: V
Attracted To A Married Man: Part IV
Well since you give yourself so little credit…. Had you ACTUALLY listended to me instead of judging me, you would have seen that your advice did play a part in the final decision. Not all affairs end up on the dark side. Continue reading Attracted To A Married Man: Part IV
Attracted To A Married Man: Part III
Hi. First off let me say thank you again. I appreciate your advice!!! Now (please) let me continue with my saga: First, I just want to clear the air, I have NEVER visioned myself as the other woman, nor do we enjoy being in this situation. We fully understand the circumstances and atleast I know that right now, it IS an emotional affair. I am sure he has no idea what an emotional affair is. But I WILL educate him the next time I see him!!! Continue reading Attracted To A Married Man: Part III
Attracted To A Married Man: Part II
Hey Queenie: Thanks for the quick reply and the great advice!! I took it to heart!!! I broke up with him the next time I saw him (last Friday night), after we both agonized over it for hours. We talked about everything that we felt was so right but we knew was so wrong!!! We agreed that it was best, for both of us (and everyone involved). When I left him that night to go home, I could not help but to feel absolutely devastated. I felt like I had been dating this man for 10 years and I did not understand why I was so distraught? But none the less, we agreed to only talk about work, while at work on work phones. And that was it!!! Continue reading Attracted To A Married Man: Part II
Attracted To A Married Man
Hi. I just stumbled upon your site. I am a single w/f 37 yoa and lonely. I am attractive, but have a very hard time meeting men. Just to say it I am a home body with no real hobbies, so I often find myself at home alone (which I am totally comfortable with). It’s my safe place and I love it!!! I’ve met a man who is married. He’s been married for 20 years, and has 2 kids (I’m not sure of they’re exact ages but they are not children). Continue reading Attracted To A Married Man
Can This Relationship Be More?
A long time ago I had a good friend. We’ll call him “Chris”. He’s a great guy and always was. We were really close and there was always something more there but, well I guess we were both afraid of ruining a good friendship and never acted on it. And it was probably the smart thing to do because we were pretty young then. But we’re both 37 now and have married and divorced. I thought about him a lot over the years, even while I was married. We lost touch for a long time but fate has put us together again. We work together now and all those feelings are still there and stronger than ever. Continue reading Can This Relationship Be More?
A Relationship Worth Ending
Hi Queenie, my boyfriend for 7 years is now keeping a distance from me. My brother passed away last June. He died suddenly with a condition that the virus was attacking his heart, damaged his heart muscles and caused heart failure. Since October last year, my boyfriend has been telling me that life has been difficult and he would like to keep a distance, because my brother died stupidly (my boyfriend thinks that my brother did not take care himself well and being irresponsible and caused my parents, my sister and I suffer for the rest of our lives). My boyfriend thinks he does not deserve to be with a “sad” family. Continue reading A Relationship Worth Ending
Adult Child Of An Alcoholic
Dear Queenie: This is a long one. Ever since I can remember my mother has been an alcoholic. I am not an only child, but sometime I feel as if I am. I have two older sisters that are 1 year apart from each other, and I am at least 9 yrs apart from the both of them. Even though they are older then me if seems as if I am the oldest of all three. See they come to me when they need help with things. I know they do that because we really can’t trust my mother to be sober enough to help us. Continue reading Adult Child Of An Alcoholic
Sex Without Emotional Intimacy
Dear Queenie: I’ve had a friend/intimate relationship with a man twelve years older than I for two years. We have both been hurt by two divorces each. We have a terrific intimate relationship but not intimate emotionally. We are both scared but I need more and he told me he can not give more. I don’t think we would make a good married couple because although we get along great and have a lot in common, I don’t like how he puts down other people. He is also a bit self-centered, but the sex is fantastic. Continue reading Sex Without Emotional Intimacy
Confess Or Keep Quiet?
Dear Queenie, I have read a large number of your answers concerning this topic, but I have been unable to find any situation similar enough to my own to feel that my question was answered. I hope that you will not find this email too long to post, because a response would mean the world to me. I do not have friends who I can confide in. My boyfriend is my best friend, and I have not talked to him about this, for reasons which will become obvious. Continue reading Confess Or Keep Quiet?
Will A Cheater Always Cheat?
Do you think men that cheat will always cheat?? I recently have broken up with my boyfriend of three years because of this. I had suspected it once but gave him the benefit of the doubt, but the second time I was told about him he did admit to cheating.
The Game Of Love
I’m a 27 year old female who has been kinda chasing after a 30 year old male. We have been on several dates and when were together everything perfect we have so much fun. but he refuses to let me get to close to him, he said its because he has been hurt 3 times before. I have been hurt to but that doesn’t stop me from trying again. I need your advise on how to handle this matter. I really want to be with him. — Mattie
Jailhouse Lover
I have a question about my boyfriend who is in jail and although I’ve seen your archives, I can’t exactly find one to fit this question particularly. My boyfriend and I didn’t actually start talking until he had been in jail for a while, but we have been friends for years.
She Didn’t Know How She Felt
I’ve fallen in love with my best friend. We met through my brother about two years ago, and started to work together about a year ago. We’d been hanging out ever since we met but it became more frequent after we started working together. He would ask me to his house to hang out.
Boyfriend’s Out of Town, New Guy Isn’t
My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. We broke up two years ago for about 4 months and then got back together. Anyway this summer we ended up getting jobs in different cities that are about an hour away from each other so we only really get to see each other on the weekends.
Taking Advantage Of Their Friendship
I’m hoping i can get some advice about a situation with a friend. I graduated from college a while ago and I left some friends behind well after years had past and life had been good to me I reconnected with my best friend from my college days. She and I are in two different states, and while it is nice to speak to her she calls everyday with a new situation.
And Baby Makes Three
My boyfriend but also my baby-daddy says i never keep promises sometime I do break promises but he have cheated on me at least 6 times and I have forgave him I love him and I really want to be with him, and he also think it’s ok if he can have female friends but I can’t have guy friends. what should I do. — Ashley
All Action, No Talk
My boyfriend refuses to tell me that he loves me. He hasnt said it in almost 2 years and it really bothers me. I know he loves me but he just wont say it. He used to but after a few fights early in the relationship, he told me he does not love me.
How Can She Move On?
Dear Queen of Hearts: My boyfriend and I have known each other 2 1/2 years. It’s been a rocky relationship from start to finish. I say finish because he said “good-bye” to me recently. I know I should move on and try and forget about him but he is one of a kind. I’ve never known a sweeter love than his. I’ve been married once and so has he.
Like A Fish Out Of Water
I am a 33 year old female who has been in a relationship for over a year and a half with a 38 year old man. He is a wonderful man, who is very kind and generous. We do not live together yet, and have an hour and 1/2 separating us. He owns a cottage in the area where I grew up with my family and this is where we met. We meet at his cottage on the weekends and we also try to get together one day through the week.
Is Her Old Boyfriend History?
Hi – Thank you for your excellent column… I read it frequently and find it very helpful and enjoyable. Let’s see if I can consolidate my question sufficiently to entice you to give me your wisdom on it… I am a 28 year old professional, who up until 2 months ago was in a pretty serious 1 year relationship. That relationship was having its troubles in early June, when along came a 24 year old woman into my work environment who was just supposed to be here for the summer.
Wasting Her Love On A Dog
I had been dating Romeo on and off for about 4 years. After graduation, I moved 5 hours away to put him behind me and go to school. At any rate we got in contact again. He would be in my life for a while and then disapear for a couple of weeks or months at a time. He constantly told me how much he loved me and how much he wanted us to get married. I kept thinking I had done wrong by moving away and contimplated moving back each time things got better.
He’s Stringing Her Along
I hope someone can help me because I don’t know what to do or think. About 5 months ago I starting dating this guy and it was intense from the start although in our first conversation he said he wasn’t ready for me yet which I thought was odd.
Can He Be Trusted?
My boyfriend (28) and I (21) have been together for two and half years. Last week he confessed me that he slept with two women while I was studying abroad for a semester. This happened one year ago, he said he cheated because he was not sure about his feelings towards me back then, but now he says he is very sorry, loves me and wants to be with me forever.
Is She Really Over The Other Guy?
Hi, this is Joe again from the recent “Is the Old Boyfriend History?” Again thank you for your excellent reply. Was hoping to entice you into helping me with a further large question, and to briefly give you the interesting interval history.
His Child With His Lover
We have been together 9.5 years. Have four beautiful children. He has his career, I have mine. We just built a beautiful dream home and moved in in January. Yet, I come home three weeks ago to find child support papers posted on my door from the Sheriff. Total devastation hit me. I had absolutely no clue. Shame on me for not knowing he had a eight month old little boy.
Is It Really Over This Time?
My live in boyfriend of 4 years has just dumped me. This time I think it’s for good. We have been together for alot of memories vacations, birthdays, holidays eveything. We made plans on getting married having children together. We have broken up before but I always got him back after about 1 week or so. Does’nt look like it this time. I sit at home all day all nite, in our apartment with all our things and Im getting desperate.
Her Boyfriend And Her Best Friend
I’ve been living with my boyfriend of 2 yrs and nine months for about a year and a half. We’d both talked of marriage and had definite plans for the future, or so I thought. Yesterday he tells me he can’t stop thinking about my best friend. This guy is not your usual jock/insensitive guy. He’s one of those whimpy intellectuals. I was totally thrown for a loop.
Tired Of The Stress
I have been separated from ex-husband for 7 yrs and in current relationship for 4 years. My current partner does not have a colourful past, and can be at times quite controlling, especially when it comes to discipline for my son. (from my ex-husband).
She Chose The Wrong Man
My story is long and my question complex due to the past few years. I met two men around the same time frame and chose the one who seemed to be the less of a threat to my heart. I Married him but always harbored feelings for the other who made me feel “scared” you know that feeling you get when you are up high and you look below? I Married the one who made me feel “safe”. I realize now why I thought I chose him and cut all ties with the other man (the unsaf one).
Time For A Break?
My best friend and lover and I decided to make a commitment to share our lives together, not necessarily get married. We live 4 hours apart but are trying to get closer. I am by nature a very jealous person and she is by nature a very outgoing person.
Time to Call It Quits?
My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 2 years. This year he went to college and we planned to see each other Friday and Saturday nights. We’d go to parties and what not, but the other day he told me that he had to go out to eat with a mentor then he said that he wanted to go to a party and that I could come over after he got back. When I said something about me going with him to the party he said he just wanted to meet people.
Is Midlife Crisis the Cause?
I am a 32 year old professional that has been married for five years. My wife is a couple of years older than I am. Lately our relationship has been very rocky. My wife tells me that it is not me and that she loves me and I provide her with everything that she could want, but she is unsure of herself in regards to is she making the right decision, was she suppose to do something else with her life and so on.
He Wants Her To Want Him
Hello, I need help! I’m madly in love with my girlfriend but she’s saying for right now we’re just friends. We’ve been together for one year but have been friends for about three. We were living together during this past year and were engaged. Now, after a not so pretty disagreement, we are living apart from each other. We still talk every day, still see each other almost every day and we even have sex. I do just about anything she asks of me and have apologized more than once.
She Wants Him To Be More Like Her
Hello I’ve been married for 12 years. I love my husband very much. He uses the cool as a blanket. weather he’s a little happy about something or alot. Exsample last week I boought some darts and baloons and put a special note in each one. I hung them up for him to enjoy. then sat there for two days! the balloons were going flat. I got fusterated and popped the balloons and laid the notes on his desk. He said why did you do that? I was saving them? how was I supposed to know he sure didn’t tell me, all he said was cool that’s really nice. That’s pretty much what he says when I make tacos!
A Friendship That’s Gone Too Far?
This question is not concerning love, but about the break down of a best friendship. I have known “Lilian” for about 3 1/2 years. I have been through alot w/her. About 2 yrs ago, she was having problems w/ her sister so, I invited her to come live w/me. Throughout this situation, she has hidden the bills from me, constantly being short on money, made bad choices, making plans, then somehow not coming through, in short, she has been a mental drain on me.
Is It All About the Chase?
I am 31. I got out of a 4 1/2 year relationship and then I met a really great woman. We really hit it off and things went fast. I was only 6 months out of my previous relationship and already I was wrapped up in another one.
Better Friends Than Spouses
What are we? My “soon to be ex-husband” and I are still in love, but it is impossible for us to be together. His mom hates me, my mom hates him, and we don’t live together well. But we are really friendly to each other. We tell each other just about everything. yet there is the “chemistry or lust” betweet us. When we get together to hand out, eventually we head towards the bedroom. I don’t find this a problem, but I am feeling confused.
Obsessing Over His Past
Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a while now and never before did his pass bother me. I am his first girlfriend ever. which i know is pretty special u really cant hardly find a man who hasnt been with alot girls now days. but he did sleep with one girl before me. they went on like four dates and after a drunken night they did it it was more her pressuring then him.
Can She Get Him Back?
How do you win back a lost love? that a relationship went from matrimony in the spring to I have got to have space. and found a love connection on the internet and left living in an illusion of new found happiness. please advise — Sandy
Thinking About Another Man
I have been married eight years to my best friend from high school. Four years ago he shocked me by cheating on me with one of his co-workers. It was short lived & he has since moved jobs & has changed for the better. From the moment I found out about it, he has worked to keep our marriage together & I have worked too.
Confession Of A Guilty Conscience
My husband cheated on me two weeks before our church wedding in our apartment. We had been married through JP for almost a year at the time. It was about a year ago now and he just told me yesterday because of a guilty conscience. He is a very nice guy and I love him, but what should I do? — Confused
In Love With Another Man
I am practically married (10 years common-law), and we have two children. I had an affair for three months with someone whom I grew very attached to. We always talked about how we both wished we were single so that we could do whatever we wanted without having to worry about someone seeing us together. But he is living with someone else too. I ended it by saying that I thought we should just be friends,and he agreed with me (due to gossip and suspecting people).
Younger Man….
OK, here goes. I’m over 40 (only slightly) and can not let go of a four year relationship with a guy 8 years younger. He plays the game of ‘I love you, I love you not’ so often I’m becoming an emotional pile of sh…….. Well I think you get the picture.
Is She Having A Midlife Crisis?
My wife and I have been married for 26 years next month. In this time we have had many mutual friends. But lately she has wanted to be with a group of women that 4 years ago she didn’t want any part of. Now she sneaks around and tells half truths to be with them. I have asked her not to see them, but she says it is none of my business and that I can’t tell her who she can to be with. It is starting to threathen our marriage, it all most feels like she is having an affair.
In Love Too Soon
I told him I loved him when I was very intoxicated and he dumped me the next day….I was very shocked and hurt we hadnt been going out for very long and he cited underlying issues along with…..the fact he didnt want to use me.
His Wife Has A Boyfriend
okay i am married to a lady she had a child by another guy 10 years ago and i raised this child with her and we have a son toghether the problem she talks to this other guy alot and everytime we have an issue she runs back to him he wants her but he does not want the responiabily of all three of them.
Dumped By Her Boss
I have been dating my boss who is much older than me for about 3 years now, on and off. He use to be a very big player however when we got together he stopped and was totally in love with me. We built a I guess you could say disfunctional family with our kids.
The Married Man
I’ve been in a relationship for over a yr and I thought everything was great, we were always honest with each other, shared common intrests and goals and were in love.
Should She Spend So Much Time With Her Ex?
Dear Queen, I have been in a wonderful relationship now for 8 months, everything is going great except for one problem i seem to have. i hope that you will be able to give me some information i need to hear.
The Relationship Is Cooling Down
I’ve been dating a guy for a year and we have been living together for 6 months now. He is great, we have lots in common. I’ve been feeling a little worried lately that he has lost interest in me. He tries to make me feel like he wants me to stay around, but then when he talks with his friends his attitude changes. One day he says he wants to marry me, then I over hear him telling his friend that I keep pushing him to get married.
She Wants Out
I feel as if I do not love my husband anymore. I am wanting so bad to live alone. He is a good person and I feel that it would be better for us to be friends. I think he should move out on good terms because if we continue to be together, I know that I will soon leave myself on bad terms. please give me some advice. Thanks. — Katie
She’s Taking A Break From Their Relationship
My women tells me she needs time to get her thoughts togeother, we have been with each other for 4 yrs. I had her 21 yrs old son living with me and I had to tell him he had to leave. we do not live with each other she live in X and I live in Y. Is this her way of trying to let me down easy. she tell me that she love me but she just needs a little time think things out. — Jesse
Continue reading She’s Taking A Break From Their Relationship
Slimmer Now and Looking For Compliments
My wife of eighteen years told me quite unexpetedly that she was unhappy and was leaving me for another man. She left with her stuff today. She is thirty five years of age. We married when I was eighteen and she was seventeen. We are not the first for each other. We have two children a twenty year old son, hers from a relationship when she was fourteen and fifteen, and a daughter seventeen born a year after we wed.
Dating An Older Midlife Man
I have been dating/seeing this man he is 37 and has three children, a sixteen year old daughter that does not live with him from one woman, two boys a seven year old and a ten year old with his ex-wife. I am 23 and I have two children, boys, eight and one year old from a nine year relationship. He left me when I got pregnant with the baby. Anyway, I have not been dating anyone until this man.
He’s Married, Can He Be Trusted To Leave?
I have been dating a married man for 2 years. He has left and moved in with me 2 times for a total of 6 months. He moved back because of the closeness and comfort he has and gets from his children. (age 16 and 14) He says he is leaving her for good this time in April and he choose that date so he can get his boys ready for the transition.
Friends To Lovers?
Hi Queenie, I am not sure mine qualifies as a problem. I work in a huge company and met a colleague at one of the training programs. Over the next few months, the two of us went from being colleagues to good friends and today, he is one of my closest friends.
He’s Jealous Of Her Ex
Hi Queenie, I was married to a man that was not affectionate at all for almost 8 years. We would make love about twice a year. To top it all I fell pregnant and has a 7yr old and 3yr old child from him. I divorced him two years ago.
Communication Problem
Dear Queenie, my wife and I have been married for five years and together for seven. As all couples do, we have had our rocky times. The problem is that I have let them pass on thinking that all was well, and my wife has not.
Lacking Commitment
Dear Queenie, for four months I have been working my first real job out of college. The hours are terribly long, especially compared to my boyfriend who is a substitute teacher waiting on his orders from the army.
Talk Is Cheap
Dear Queenie, the man I am living with is cheating on me. He is supposed to be my fianc?e, but I have called it off. I feel that our relationship is unusual in the fact that we still are together most of the time, we still have a physical relationship, he tells me he loves me, that I am beautiful, ect, but there is this “other” person.
Long Distance Relationship
I have been with my boyfriend for about a year now. We both went to the same school and lived together and had wonderful times together. Well, last summer he has to move 6 hours away for a job while i had to stay put to finish school.
Just Leave?
My husband and I have been married for two years, in July he confessed to having sex w/ a lady he works with. I told him I loved him and that I want to work it out.
Too Much Way Too Soon
OK see their is this guy that i am with right now and i really really like him and right now i don’t know if he feels the same way see i have been with him for two weeks and his mom got me to move in with them and i did and now he is acting all mean like to me and i don’t know what to do so if you can please help me thank you so much if you can.
Obsession Or Love?
I met this guy about 5 years ago and we really had this connection, but just could never get together. I really think he felt the connection as much as me, but my problem is I haven’t seen this guy in about 3 years and I still think about him all the time.