Dear Queenie, I am struggling to accept the fact that the man I am dating has worked at a strip club and dated only strippers his entire life. He is a very smart, loving man and has never had a good girl, I am wrong for being down on myself for liking this man?
I am a very sweet, college girl with great academic achievements underway and I feel like I am letting myself down because of the trashiness of all his exes and being around that lifestyle for over 13 years. I feel like people may see me as less of a respectable young lady for dating him?
Do you think it is acceptable to involve yourself with people that have had such low standards before they dated you? Am I even making sense? I dont mean to sound heartless but I pride myself on a respectable lifestyle and image and I dont think being involved in any way with a strip club is good. — Suneone
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Suneone, how did you meet this man in the first place? And why, when you knew his dating history and his work history, did you start dating him given your feelings about strippers and strip clubs?
Not all strippers are low lifes, trashy, or bad girls; some may be high achievers such as yourself who have found stripping the best way to support their education while others are supporting families on their earnings. Not all strippers are hookers if that’s the thought process you’re using.
It might be difficult for you to date this man because you’d be constantly having to explain to people why you — a good girl with high morals — are dating a man with a history such as his. Other women wouldn’t have a problem; you do and probably will otherwise you wouldn’t have asked the question.
Personally, I think it may be too much of a clash of personal values for the two of you to make much of a relationship. You’ll start making snide remarks about women he knows or has dated and when he defends one of them you’ll have to justify your superiority to them.
Just my thoughts. — Queenie