My question is this. I have been married now for many years, 30 years now. My husband and I met when I was 15 and he was 16 years old. We got married when I was just 19 and he was just 20.
But I find out much later in our marriage that he had sex with two girls that were very bad and easy and had sex with many guys before he had sex with them, he was 15 when he had the sex with these two girls then.
I guess I am having a problem knowing this sense I thought of him as a guy who would be in a relationship when having sex and not just a one night stand kind of guy. First time sex should leave you with a good memory, how do you feel good about sex with someone you do not know, not even their name and who sleeps around all the time.
I am having a hard time getting past this and seeing my husband in this light. It would have felt better to me to know he was not a user just to have sex, but rather respectful toward girls and also had more respect for himself, Part of me thinks, did I know him when I met him and if I had know this would I have even dated him, probably not!
Yet he didn’t ever again have sex with anyone or date anyone after he was with me. So I realize I should feel blessed and happy I turned him around from his bad ways with bad girls. Anyway any advice you can give me to help me understand how to get this out of my head I would really appreciate it greatly.
What makes these young guys take chances with bad sleep around girls, aren’t they at all afraid they will get these kind of girls pregnant or get something else from her. Again how do they feel good about themselves when they do this, I could never feel good about me if I had done anything like this!
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I’m having a difficult time believing that you have been married 30 years and are obsessing about something your husband did when he was a teenager. I think that you are more likely a teen girl whose boyfriend has been having sex with other girls and you don’t understand how he could do such a thing.
Why do boys have sex with “bad” girls? Because they can. It feels good and they don’t think about the consequences. They do it because “everyone else is doing it” or because they won’t fit in with their group if they don’t. And most girls do it because they think it’ll make them liked more when the reality is it will make them popular for a time but not for the long term.
There are some very bad consequences if they’re not careful. AIDS is one, VD is another. But that doesn’t just happen to boys who have sex, it happens to the girls they have sex with, too. Pregnancy is another major risk as well as the danger of bad abortions. Abortions don’t just do physical harm, they do psychological harm.
I agree that the sexual experience should be more than just “doing it” with a stranger but that doesn’t mean my beliefs are better than others or my way is right. It’s just my opinion. — Queenie