Hi Queenie, I have been seeing this kind caring guy for 18 months. We have a lot of laughs together. Only one big problem, he is from a different race with a different religion to myself. I have felt shut out as i have not been invited into his life.
He lives in the family unit and I have never seen where he lives and never met his family. This hurts as he has been welcomed into my family who are all fond of him.
The other big problem is that he had an arranged marriage at the age of 17 and is now 36. He says he wants a divorce as they have been separated 6 years and he says she gets on his nerves whenever she is around. He keeps giving me false hope by saying in time he will let me meet his family and allow me into his life, but, my resentment is building and i now feel very broken by the whole situation.
We both love each other and I would love to settle down with him, and he says he wants a future with me too, but, what he says and what he does are completely different. I feel blinded by the whole situation and feel deep down he is stringing me along. I feel used and cheated and like the ‘other woman’. I am attractive and in my early thirties and feel i deserve better, but, can’t seem to break away from him. Please can anyone help?
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Actually, the FIRST big problem is that he is married and has been for the past 19 years. Of course he’s not going to introduce you to his family, he’s a married man who is smart enough to keep his girlfriend hidden from his wife and family.
You feel like the “other woman” because you are. You feel like he’s stringing you along because he is. She “gets on his nerves” and you will too if you start pushing too hard for him to legitimize the relationship you have with him.
You are the only one who can help you break away from a married man who makes you feel used and cheated. Are “a lot of laughs” worth it? That’s all I see you getting from this “kind caring guy” who has used up 18 months of your life.
Sure you deserve much better. But no one else can change your life but you. It’s not that you can’t break away, it’s that you won’t. — Queenie