I love my fiance very much. The problem is that he just isn’t very affectionate at all and I am. He rarely even touches me. We have great sex but not as often as I would like to. I have tried to give subtle hints without being pushy or needy, but he just wants to watch TV or go to sleep. Even on weekends!
I am so lonely sometimes that I cry. He doesn’t talk to me very much either. I used to think it was me and maybe I didn’t turn him on, but I don’t think that’s the problem. He tells me he loves me all the time and he seems very content in our relationship. However, I’m not content. I feel starved for attention and affection.
I don’t want to even consider having an affair because I think that’s one of the worst forms of betrayal that there is. I don’t think I can live with this empty feeling much longer. I discussed these concerns with him and he was very sweet and understanding. He did admit that he’s not as affectionate as I am.
His words and actions show that he wants me to be happy. I really REALLY want to make him happy too. He gives me a little attention for a day or so but then soon after he goes back to ignoring me for days at a time. I don’t want to nag at him about this anymore. What should I do??? — Confused
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Dear Confused, you’re getting a good look at your future with this man. He admits that he isn’t as affectionate as you are and his sex drive is lower than yours. While he may make an effort when you finally are at a breaking point, he just isn’t able to give you what you need for an extended period of time.
You need to decide just how much you require in a relationship and how much you’re willing to compromise. If you can adjust to getting less sex than you want and/or need and you can live with a man who has you thinking about having an affair in order to get the affection you need, then by all means settle.
I think you can do better. Just my opinion of course. — Queenie