I have been dating my girlfriend for the last 2 years. Marriage has been brought up, but there are two issues that concern me. One is that she does not like to attend my family gatherings, whether they are too large, she doesnt like crowds, of she doesn’t like certain people, she won’t go.
I’ve heard all the above, yet many greet her with open arms. Second, she has told me before she is warry about marrying into my family. yet she has said many times how she wants to marry me. I am trying to figure out this issues and get some insight.
She hasn’t gotten along with my mom from the beginning, but in my mind she took along the notion that my mom hated her right from the start because she is mexican. I am Polish.
My girlfriend has had a bad past relatioinship with her mother, abusesive both verbally and physically. she is getting help managing her anger. I want to marry her, but always think is she going to come with me to family events, even when we have kids? — Mark
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Mark, it sounds as though you have to make a choice: your family or this woman who says she wants to marry you. Quite frankly, that’s unfair to you, to your future children, and to your family. No matter what her problems may have been with her family, your family should not have to pay the price.
I’d suggest that you push all thoughts of marriage far, far away until she’s more receptive to becoming a part of your family as your wife and the mother of your children. That also means becoming a gracious member of your entire family.
The nationality issue shouldn’t have anything to do with it. She has personal issues that could cause you major problems in the future. She’s on her best behavior now; things will only get worse after marriage unless she gets some help and makes some major changes in these areas of your relationship. At least that’s my personal opinion. Take it or leave it. — Queenie