Dear Queenie, This is my first time writing to an advice column. Here goes… I am a 35 year old woman. I have been in a pretty good relationship for the past four years. My boyfriend treats me very good and I appreciate him especially after all of the lousy relationships I have been involved in in the past.
I have searched high and low all of my life for my soul mate. I never thought I would find him until recently… I don’t know how to say this but I am very much in love with my first cousin. And he feels the same way about me. He is absolutely everything I have ever looked for in a man and more.
I have never felt so spiritually connected to anyone like this in my whole life. He wants to share a life together and I want that more than anything. But I guess I don’t have to tell you what I’m afraid of. I know that our family would never be able to accept this.
He tells me that I shouldn’t let that interfere with our love. Afterall, some people live thier entire lives and never find this kind of happiness with someone. I need some advice. I am going crazy trying to figure out what to do. I love him and I need him.I don’t want to live my life without him. I don’t want to hurt anyone. maybe you have some advice. Thanks for listening. – Terrified
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I understand how you could be terrified. You have two men to choose from, one who treats you well and another who you believe to be your soulmate.
You said your current relationship is “pretty good” but that doesn’t sound as though it is outstanding or one you’d want to spend your entire life involved in.
Maybe your cousin is your soulmate and maybe you’d be foolish to throw away a chance at this type of happiness. Or perhaps he would make a better long term friend.
How much are you willing to give up for your first cousin? You already know this relationship would require sacrifices. Are you absolutely certain that he will be the man you need him to be once you make those sacrifices?
My advice? Step away from both relationships and get back in touch with “you” for a while. You’re confused about the way to go or you wouldn’t be asking for advice. If either man is the right one he will still be there for you once you know the right choice for your happiness. It’s just my opinion. — Queenie