I am a 32 year old divorced woman who has been been seeing a wonderful 38 year old man for over a year now that I care for very deeply. He owns a cottage in the northern country where he spends a lot of his time. This is were I met him. Before I met him, he used to bring this girl up to his cottage on the weekends and they used to date frequently.
The problem that I am having is that since he and I started seeing each other, this girl continues to call him and she has asked about coming up and spending the weekend at the cottage.
She knows that we are together, and the first time my boyfriend just told her to “come on up” without even asking me what I thought. I was not impressed at all, and let him know it. He said they were just “friends”, and I believe him. However, I don’t want to share my weekend (which is the only time I see my boyfriend) with a woman he used to roll in the hay with!!!
Anyway, he knew I was not impressed and somehow, got out of it, but then after a while she called and asked again if she could come up and stay the weekend. This time, my boyfriend asked me, but again, I was not impressed and told my boyfriend that if he wanted to have her up, that was OK but I didn’t feel comfortable about this situation and I didn’t think that it was fair to expect me to “hang out” with them all weekend.
He just said “your not ready for this yet”. I honestly don’t know if I will ever be ready – I feel very strongly about this. Well, now the summer is coming, and I am anticipating this happening again. My thoughts right now are, how do I handle it this time? Can you please give advice?
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I don’t think your boyfriend is ready to settle down with just one woman. If he was, he would heed your wishes and leave this ‘friend’ out of your private time together. I suspect she’s still interested in him and he is responding in kind.
Unless you’re interested in play tug-o-war over this guy, I’d suggest you tell him you’re not interested in being a part of his threesome getaways. If he doesn’t tell his ‘friend’ so long, you’ll know where you stand. — Queenie