Dear Queenie, I just got dumped by my girlfriend of 5 months. We really clicked and everything was great. She had a moment where she wanted to give her ex another chance but after a few days we were back together.
We had a fantastic weekend where she was overly affectionate but in a nice way but 2 days later I woke up and she dumped me in an email saying she wanted to give her ex another chance. They had a 5 year relationship which was over after 3 and a half years so she says. No sex and no affection from him so she moved out and started to date me.
This break came suddenly and it seems as though she wants to be friends but I am not having an easy time dealing with the suddenness of the break up and the fact that there seemed to be no warning signs. Basically a broken heart, which I have had before and I am beginning to lose faith in relationships and girls. Please help me? — desperate for good advice
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Too bad experience can’t be less painful. What you’ve learned, if you choose to use this experience, is that it takes time for someone to get over loving someone. You came into her life at the wrong time. She needed someone to comfort her but she wasn’t ready for a new love because she wasn’t through with the old one. How could you possibly know this?
When someone has been in a long term relationship there is a big possibility that they will return to that relationship if they have the chance. Sometimes they’ll stay just long enough to make a better exit, and sometimes the relationship lasts because each player has decided that they’d rather compromise on issues keeping them apart than lose the love they have for each other.
Dating someone who is newly out of a long term relationship can make you their transitional relationship. Most transition relationships don’t last. Please learn from this and make sure that your next girlfriend is well over any past relationships before you get serious.
Should you be friends with her? Not when it hurts you so much. And why should you put yourself in the position of being her “Plan B” if her “Plan A” doesn’t work again? Would you want her being friends with her ex if the two of you got together again? Isn’t that what caused this breakup? — Queenie