Hi there I have been dating a man for just over one year 14 months actually. Two weeks ago he dumped me, he said that he loved me very much and that i deserved someone better. I was so upset I wasn’t expecting this at all. He told me that he wanted to be alone and free for the rest of his life, I responded that he couldn’t really want to be alone forever.
A week went by and he decided he wanted to try again and to go very slow. I am so scared because I really don’t want to loose this man I do love him I value his friendship and I care very very much for him. I have lot’s of burning questions for him but don’t know where to start, so that we can learn about each other and grow into a very meaningful relationship. I truly want a life with him. I am 39 and he is 43. do you have any advice. thank you — Mori
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Mori, some guys run from commitment. Even if the two of you haven’t talked about marriage or a more permanent relationship, the idea might have been rolling around in his mind and it may have scared him. So he ran. And then he realized he wanted to be with you, even though he is scared of taking that next step, so he came back.
He said he wants to take it slow. That means SLOW! Unless he’s the type of man who easily talks about feelings and gives explanations for his actions, don’t delve for answers. You’ll push him away. Take it slow and easy and give him lots of “space.” Let him be the one to come after you and try to pin you to a tighter relationship. — Queenie