My boyfriend (33) and I (31) have been together for 2.5 years. We have spoken about marriage twice in our relationship in the past two years and said that we wouldn’t date for more the three years. 3 weeks ago My boyfriend said that he was unsure of a commitment w me because I pressured him. Because he said he was unsure of a commitment w me, I told him that he had 7 months to propose or else we were done. We didn’t speak for two weeks.
Last weekend he came over to my apt and we talked about how much we love each other, how we want to be together and how we both want marriage. I asked for some sort of time frame. He said that I was pressuring him in asking for a time frame. And that he needed to be 1000% sure of commitment because he feared divorce being a product of a divorce mom and dad and that his brother was divorced as well.
I stood my ground and I said “I love you, I want to be with you we are not your parents we are not your brother and I need some sort of time frame” when he left my apt he hugged me so tight, and he said “I love you so much. We will work this out I promise. I just need time give me some time please its me its my fear I promise we will work out” we went NC for a week.
I bumped into him he said it was meant to be for us to bump into each other we got to talking and he told me again that he loved me so much and that we will be together. He said how he missed me, can’t be without me doesn’t want anyone else and that we’re meant to be.
The following day he called me and we spoke for about half hour again he told me he loves me wants to be with me and we will sit down and discuss our relationship and that he was going to keep calling me “baby”. I know he loves me but he asked for time apart and now after a week apart he still hasn’t come to a decision about where we stand but now wants to talk.
I’m confused? He called me twice last night. I ignored his calls and third time i answered. He asked if i was okay and I told him I was busy and that I was struggling with the idea of him taking his time and whether or not we should talk. He said no no I want to talk to you. We are going to go out to dinner and talk about us. We’re going to do this. I am one million percent sure I want you for the long haul. There is not doubt in my mind were going to compromise and were going to this there is no reason why we love each other and want to be together were doing this together trust me.
— I believe him and trust in Him but it’s been 3 days and he has not asked to meet?
As you are learning, you can’t force someone to marry you. He may love you more than he’s ever loved anyone in his life but not be ready for the ultimate commitment yet. So, how long do you wait? And should you wait more than you already have?
If it were me, I’d state again that I love him and want to marry him but that if he doesn’t have the same level of feeling and wish for commitment that I need to start dating again. I’d assure him that I’d be open to dating him also but that the only committed relationship I’d want in the future would be marriage.
If he thinks he might lose you, it could be just the push he needs to commit. If not, you won’t waste any more time waiting for him. ~ Queenie