I am back together with my ex-boyfriend (we’ve been broken up for over 3 years now), and he went away to school about a week after we got back together. I don’t expect THAT much but I DO enjoy talking to him on a nightly basis. I believe that is what is needed in a long-distance relationship: communnication.
He says that he thinks talking on the phone too much can ruin a relationship and that he would like to write letters. I talked to him about it and he agreed to call me more but I still don’t hear from him everyday and when he does call it is late at night (normally after midnight . . . most of the time it is later than that).
He said he wrote me a letter and sent it TWO Saturdays ago (it has been 12 full days (9 mail days) and I still haven’t recieved it. Is he playing with me or should I try to work it out?? PLEASE HELP!!! — DeeDee
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DeeDee, does he know how to send email? That certainly is easier than writing a letter. And can he IM and/or use chat rooms to talk to you?
Actually, I agree with him that daily phone calls can kill a relationship. I agree because he said it because he believes it. Some couples can spend half their lives talking on the phone and still want to talk some more. But, your boyfriend is not interested in spending that much time on the phone to you and he is communicating that fact to you but you don’t want to accept that, you want him to conform to your needs, you don’t want to conform to his.
This is where compromise and understanding are needed. If you set your “need” level more in line with what he can be comfortable with, maybe the two of you can make this work. He isn’t into daily phone calls so tell him you’d really like to hear from him a couple times a week, at least. And he doesn’t have to call for both times, he can email or IM one time. And, because you need your sleep, you’d appreciate if he’d phone earlier in the evening.
If twice a week isn’t convenient for him then you need to reconsider whether this relationship is worth your while right now. If he isn’t willing to at least meet you half way then there isn’t much here to work with. At least that’s my thoughts about this. — Queenie