Hi, I seperated and divorced from my ex 2 years ago, we were together 21 years, I am 43. 6 weeks after I moved out I met my current boyfriend/fiance, who I fell head over heels about when we met. The problem is that he wants to be with me 24/7, we work together and are with each other at night.
I asked him for 2 days apart just because I need some space, and now he is constantly questioning me about whether or not I love him, if he’s the man for me, if maybe I would want a richer man, and on and on and on! He’s very jealous, untrusting and possesive.
I love him and want to get married, but will this ever end? His wife left him for another man, he was married for 21 years, he’s 42. Is his hurt and insecurity something that will follow him, and make him fail in all his relationships? I can’t continue to to stroke his ego anymore in hopes of making him realize that I love him. thank you — Peaches
——————————-
Peaches, you can understand his insecurity since his wife left him and you left your husband. But will he ever get over this insecurity? It’s hard to tell. It make take him longer than you have time to wait.
I have a feeling the both of you have unresolved issues from your previous marriages that are getting in the way of your current relationship. He needs to heal so that he doesn’t have to have constant reassurance that you’re not going to leave. You need to heal so that you’re ready to commit to another serious relationship.
Talk to him. Tell him his need for reassurance is driving you away from him. And perhaps ask him if he’d be willing to attend couples counseling with you to put your relationship onto a more solid foundation. — Queenie