I’m a 37 year old male who has been in a committed 3 year relationship. I love the girl very much and had intentions of marriage as did she at one time. Due to a few bumps in the road, ie-she was in a near fatal accident (I helped nurse her back to health over a period of approximately 1 1/2 years and some financial/business difficulties on my part), marriage was pushed to the side.
I didn’t move fast enough. About the time she began feeling better and wanting to do more activity (about 3-4 months ago), she began seeing another man. I had no knowledge of this for sometime. At the time we were living together and had been for a year. She soon moved out stating she needed time and space. It was awhile before I gained knowledge of her cheating.
He is 25/26, she is 31. He lives 4 hours away, near her home town. After considerable heartache and prayer, she told me she was ready to come back. We even spoke of eventual marriage and family again. She said she would break ties with him, but over a 2 week period, never did. They continued to communicate though cell phones and text messages.
I got wind that she was going to leave again and confronted her. She did leave again to see him. They talk daily and see each other on weekends. He has a history of drug use, but she vows that he has changed all of his old wild ways. She claims that she sees no faults in him at this time. He has been married and divorced, and broke another engagement to be with my girlfriend.
She tells me that she “just doesn’t know” what the future holds. We continue to talk, but her emotion has changed. He began expressing how much he loved her within about a month of their beginning and has already told her he wants marriage and kids. In fact, for awhile she thought she may be pregnant, and on some level was hopeful.
I still love her and probably would take her back if she showed remorse for her cheating and constant lying. She has lied to me, friends and family about the level of the relationship and what she was doing. Her family knows the guy and are very against this relationship and he is not welcome around them. She has also stated that at some point she may move to be near him.
She tells me she still loves me, but doesn’t know if she’s “in” love with me. My question is: Based on how the relationship began and all that has gone on, what are the odds of that relationship working/lasting? If the odds are poor, what kind of time frame do you feel it has the ability to last? — Russ
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Russ, based on what you’ve said, I don’t think your relationship has much of a chance right now. As far as giving you a time frame? I haven’t a clue. — Queenie