Me (21) and my boyfriend (23) have been dating for about 4 1/2 months.. we basically lived together and we were always together 24-7. he always talked about marrying me and having kids with me and all these wonderful things.
When i first met him he had no job and no money, not a big deal to me. Throughout our relationship i have helped him in every way-financially, emotionally, and it never bothered me, now he has a real good job which I helped him to get by giving him financial and moral support.
So now he has only had this good job for about 2 weeks. Wednesday he comes home from work and hugs me telling me he loves me and asking me when I’m going to marry him. The very next day he comes home and tells me he needs space, that he is confused and he doesnt know if he wants the commitment. He takes all his stuff out of my house and is crying and upset swearing that he loves and there is nobody else, he is just confused and doesnt know what he wants.
He asked me to respect the space he needs and not to call him. I cant understand where all this came from, one day hes so loving and talking about marriage, and the next day he needs space. Even through all this he keeps telling me he doesnt know what he wants and there is a chance he will come back and a chance he wont. I’m trying to move on but it is so hard, any idea why he might be acting this way??
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Four and a half months is NOT a lot of time for a relationship. Sure he’s confused. He’s not ready for a lifetime commitment and that’s how he looks at marriage — as he should.
You’ve been changing him from the moment you met him. Now it’s time to back away and give him the space he says he needs so he can decide if the changes are ones he wants and needs.
If he does decide to come back and try the relationship again, I suggest that you take it much, much slower before pushing for marriage. — Queenie