Hi, I went away for the weekend to go snowboarding. When I got back my boyfriend of 4 years had already called me. I thought it was to see how my trip went. He seemed normal but I asked him what he did on the weekend. I already knew that he was planning to get drunk one night. I asked him if he went to the bar. He said yes. I asked who he danced with, he said “I don’t remember.”
I was just upset that he had got that drunk because we have had many previous problems with his drinking, and I am not much of a drinker myself. I never suspected anything. The next day my friend called me because she said she had to talk to me.
She told me that my boyfriend kissed someone at the bar while he was dirty dancing with her. I was so shocked. The girl he kissed had been my friend for 7 years but never really close friend. They were both really unbelieveably drunk and they danced and kissed until friends pulled them off of eachother. I heard that they kissed for about 1 min.
They haven’t even talked to eachother before. He told me that they don’t even really know eachother but since it is a small town they know who eachother are cause everyone more or less hangs out in the same group. (not our small group though) I have seen her at the bar dirty dancing with lot’s of different guys and making out.
He hurt me so bad but I am wondering if you think that with time maybe there is a chance that I should forgive him… Of course with a lot of time. I am afraid that if in the future I forgive him then he might do it again. Thanks. — Confused
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Let’s see if I understand this: You go away for a fun weekend without your boyfriend, so he goes to a bar, gets drunk, and makes out on the dance floor with a friend of yours? What’s wrong with this picture?
If the two of you are in an exclusive relationship, why wasn’t he snowboarding with you? And, if you knew he was planning on getting drunk while you were gone, and he has a drinking problem, why are you so shocked at what happened? Do you see where I’m heading with this?
Unless they had sex I don’t see that he did anything horribly wrong except kiss someone else in front of people who know you which is probably quite embarrassing for you. Has he said he’s sorry? That it’ll never happen again? That he’s going to get help for his drinking problem?
If you love him, forgive him. Then join Alcoholics Anonymous and learn how to deal with someone who has a drinking problem. — Queenie