I am separated from my same-sex partner of 18.5 years (couldn’t get married for legal reasons). We have two 10 year old girls and we split custody fairly amicably.
For the last year I have been in a relationship with a family friend the whole family has known for about 3.5 years. The girls like him very much and he loves them as his own (he has 2 grown children). He works out of our house so he is here every day and the kids really enjoy being with him.
We want to move in together–we are completely committed to each other long-term. We were going to tell the kids that he is moving in downstairs for financial reasons and to help around the house and 6 months to a year later say that we feel more like a family (or something like that).
We both want to start our lives together as a family, but don’t want to hurt the kids, my ex, or my family, who will be in shock that after 30 years of my only being with women, will now see me in a relationship with a man (and of a different religion–and yes we have discussed that the family will continue my religious traditions).
Sorry for the long sentences–just lots of details to include. Thanks for any advice on how to move forward with our family.
It sounds like you, your former partner, and your family friend have worked things though quite well with your children’s well-being up front.
It takes time for family and friends to adjust to couples splitting up so your plan to slowly move into a more traditional committed relationship should give everyone time to move past the breakup and adjust to your new life.
No doubt everyone was shocked when you came out and some family members may be relieved when you come out in a “more traditional” relationship. As for your ex, well that might be a little trickier but I’m betting all of you will deal with it at the proper time.
Good luck. My money is on all of you working through this fairly easily. ~ Queenie