What are we? My “soon to be ex-husband” and I are still in love, but it is impossible for us to be together. His mom hates me, my mom hates him, and we don’t live together well. But we are really friendly to each other. We tell each other just about everything. yet there is the “chemistry or lust” betweet us. When we get together to hand out, eventually we head towards the bedroom. I don’t find this a problem, but I am feeling confused.
One side of me wants to be with him so bad (and he says the same back) and the other just feels that if we do, then everything will go back to the way it was when we were together. (we kinda had a rocky relationship, faught like cats and dogs.)
Is there a name for people like us? We aren’t spouses, or “ex” spouses, and not “friends with benifits”. Or are we just freaks. This whole thing is confusing me. Help. — Toni
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Toni, I don’t think you’re freaks at all. The two of you just can’t get along together on a full-time 24/7 basis. It doesn’t help having the family interference, either.
Not all long-term couples need marriage to be committed to each other. If the two of you can maintain a loving–exclusive–relationship then perhaps that’s what is right for you. The problem will be if either one of you decides to add another person or persons into your relationship. Will you be upset if he dates and perhaps falls in love with someone else? Will he be upset if you do?
Marriage provides a certain stability, at least while it’s going well. Nothing can be taken for granted, as you well know. Lead your life in the fashion that makes you the most comfortable and make sure that communication is clear between the two of you. — Queenie