Recently my boyfriend decided that he needed some space. We have been dating for 3 and a half years. We have talked about marriage and having kids. I really thought that we would spend the rest of our lives together. I recently found out that I was pregnant. I told him and he was shocked.
We hugged and cried and he told me that he still loved me but just wanted time. He said that I had changed and he just wanted to be with the girl that he met.
A couple of days after I found out that I was pregnant I headed to the emergency room because of stomach pains and miscarried. He told me that he didn’t believe me. I told him that I would go and get the discharge papers. I have never lied to him and would never lie to him to get him back.
It really bothers me that he thinks that I lied. I have thought about mailing him copies of my discharge papers just to prove to him that I am not lying. I love him so much and I know that he loves me. Even if we don’t ever get back together I just want to prove to him that I am not a lier. What should I do? — Alexia
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Alexia, if it makes you feel better, send him a copy of the discharge papers but send them via registered mail with his signature required so that you’ll know he got them and they didn’t get thrown out by someone else. Maybe by now you’ll have decided you don’t have to do this and that your word should be strong enough, but either way, whatever you feel is the right thing to do IS the right thing to do.
It’s quite possible that your distress over the breakup is what triggered the miscarriage. Extreme stress can do a lot of unpleasant things to your body. Having a miscarriage can work some misery on your emotions, too. Be kind to yourself!
Right now, the two of you need space from each other. If it were me, I’d leave him alone and start working on putting my “single life” back together. The more independent you become, the more attractive you’ll be. Maybe he’ll regret his recent decisions and come back. Or maybe you’ll have second thoughts about his suitability for long term commitment. Or maybe you’ll meet someone who suits you perfectly and you won’t care what your ex/current boyfriend does.
Just my take on it. — Queenie