Dear Queenie, I am pretty good at reading people but I can’t seem to crack this one and that is why I am writing you for advice!
My partner and I have been friends with this guy “X” for over a year now. He lives a few hours away from us. We don’t see him that often but we all get together every now and then. We actually saw him this past weekend. The thing that troubles me is how he treats me every time I see him. He tries hard to avoid me.
X is a very quiet person who is a bit shy but doesn’t lack confidence. I watch how he interacts with others and I notice that he carries conversations on and he makes eye contact. Now when I talk to him he makes it quick and he DOES NOT look at me. If my partner is around he usually looks at him the whole time while answering, he might glance my way a couple of times.
I haven’t done anything to make him dislike me. For awhile I thought it was because I’m a woman but it isn’t, he communicates with women the same as he does with men. I have decided to ignore him for now on because I find his behavior to be really rude and bothersome.
Can you tell me why he does this with only me and what or if I should do anything about it? I have mentioned it to my partner?he doesn?t know why he behaves this way and he thinks it is very bizarre. Please E-mail with any advice that you can offer…THANK YOU! Just to be clear my partner and I were together before we befriended X so it’s not resentment towards me because I stole his best friend. — Marnie
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Marnie, you don’t indicate if this is the way “X” has treated you from the first meeting or if this is new behavior. Whatever the answer may be, the only one who knows why he’s treating you this way is X.
Whether you get a chance to contact him by email, snail mail, phone or when you next meet, ask him what you have done to upset him. Hopefully he will be truthful and you can start over as friends. If he’s confused about your question explain why you’re asking and tell him you’ve been uncomfortable around him and would like to clear the air. — Queenie