Dear Queenie, my husband and I have been married for two years, together for three and a half. We were together for about 5 months whenever we found out that i had gotten pregnant. We were very happy until then.
As I got bigger the less he wanted to do with me, the worse I felt about myself. Whenever I was about seven months pregnant he went and hung out with his fraternity brothers. About a week after he got back I was talking to my sorority sister and she told me that he tried to sleep with her.
As I heard more and more it was so easily for me to believe because he hadn’t slept with me in months. It was completely out of character for him not to want to have sex. To make a long story short, I heard three different stories from three different people and even 2 and 1/2 years later I don’t have closure on it.
Now he still continues to lie about little things, big things, all kinds of things. He tells me that he would never cheat on me and he never has. I don’t know if I can believe what he says because he is such a great liar. And I feel deep down inside that he has cheated and is still continuing to do so.
I love him so much but I am not happy. I want to leave him but what if that isn’t the right choice? Help me!!
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Just because your husband didn’t want to sleep with you during the latter part of your pregnancy doesn’t mean he didn’t love you or was sleeping around. Some men are afraid that having sex while pregnant will hurt the baby.
It also could be that those stories you heard were pure fiction due to jealousy. Maybe she wanted to seduce him and he refused. Maybe it was all gossip meant to hurt you, which it did.
Until you have absolute proof that he is cheating, what do you lose by trusting that what he tells you is the truth? Divorce is an extremely painful process and if he doesn’t want to go and you don’t want him to go, why not forget about “something” that “may” have happened in the past and work on your future together?
Be absolutely certain that you want to leave because some doors are closed forever once you walk through them. This is a choice you must make because you’ll be living with your choice, not me, not your friends. Be sure it’s right for you. — Queenie