So, I am happily married. My husband has spent the last week organizing a large conference through work. I just learned that at the banquet last night his co-workers took their spouses. I was not invited. I’m hurt. I am also 9 years older than he is and I’m wondering if he is ashamed of me. That is my hot button. My default. I’m too old for him. I am 54 and he is 45. Am I paranoid?
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Why are you asking me why you weren’t invited? He’s the one with the answers. Ask him and tell him that you’re hurt he didn’t take you since other spouses were included. Get it out in the open but do it calmly without accusing him of anything. There’s always time for that later.

You’ve always been 9 years older than him. If you feel this is too much of an age difference now, when did that change? Or are there signs that he’s starting to deal with middle age issues of his own that may have him looking at younger women?

I’d suggest you visit The Midlife Club and see if midlife crisis is more of a potential than you being paranoid. And, frankly, I would have been hurt, too. But then, if I knew about the banquet, I would have asked if spouses were included so I could buy a great new dress and plan a spa day. ~ Queenie