My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 2 years. This year he went to college and we planned to see each other Friday and Saturday nights. We’d go to parties and what not, but the other day he told me that he had to go out to eat with a mentor then he said that he wanted to go to a party and that I could come over after he got back. When I said something about me going with him to the party he said he just wanted to meet people.
He can meet people with me, right? To me something doesn’t sound right. I was wondering if he could be looking for someone else, or if he doesn’t want to be with me anymore, or if he just wanted to go do something that didn’t involve me? Thanks! — Lorey
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Lorey, it sounds as though the distance between high school and college is growing too wide for your relationship to survive right now. He’s meeting new people and finding that he enjoys being with a new group of friends — maybe even female friends — and that’s perfectly normal when you go to college. A lot of steady relationships break apart when the couple is split between two different social circles and educational institutions.
Let him go do his thing. It’s easier to be agreeable as he’s going to go to parties and other activities whether or not you want him to even if he has to lie to you. Eliminate the problem for yourself and for him.
Tell him you need your “space” and hope that he understands (he’ll be floored if you tell him this before he has a chance to tell you) and that you hope your friendship can continue but you’d prefer to date others for awhile. Then do it. He’s not the only guy for you but he’s the guy who’s standing in the way of you meeting someone else right now. — Queenie