Well let me begin by thanking you for your advice ….. now to the questions …. and let me begin by saying: I am seperated from my wife and have been for months. I have been on a new job for over a year, and while working have meet and fell in love with one of our dept. heads.
I have never felt as deep of a love in my intire life, she is with out a shadow of a doubt the woman placed on earth for me. we get along so well, we talk for hours, we see each other when we can, we just have so much in common it is almost scarey!
The problem is she is married (very unhappily) and comes from a home where her parents stayed together for her sake, only to divorce once she was old enough to understand. She has 1 child, I on the other hand have 3. She does love me as much as i do her, and we talk about it often. She does not want to hurt her husband because she and her family is all he has. Her H works for her dad, and really has no where to go or anyone to go to if she were to leave him.
She also loves her mother very much and does not want to hurt her in the sense of ending up like she did in her marriage…..nor does she want anyone to think badly of her. She is also concerned about her job because it is a type of job where she deals with people and their problems everyday. She says she will leave one day when she finds the strength, my question is what do I do about this situation? because l truley love her with all my heart and soul and feels she does also! — Donnie
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Donnie, the first thing you do is get a divorce. Then she gets a divorce. Then the two of you decide if you’re meant to spend the rest of your lifetimes together in a committed relationship and you get married. None of the excuses you’ve given justify cheating on either your wife or her husband. They’ll learn to live without the two of you, and they’ll make better lives for themselves once the two of you have disentangled yourselves from their lives.
There are four children that must be provided for so be sure that you assume your full responsibility to them and treat your wife with respect during the divorce and afterward.
Whatever the excuses for adultery, they’re not good enough to justify it. — Queenie