Queenie, I met this guy off the internet we were talking for a year. just complete friendship nothing more, he got mushy with me one day and said he thought we had a bond together. that threw me off my chair! we finally met and when we did I feel head over heels in-love with this guy and couldn’t be without him any longer so I left everything behind and moved in with him.
In the begining it’s always in the begining huh? lol anyway, he showed me all kinds of affection and things but, the only thing is now after 2 years into our relationshiphe can’t tell me his feelings on things no matter what the topic is. when I ask him a question he always answers it with a question.
I don’t know his emotions on anything and he’s never told me how much he loves me or anything. which I know he does love me but anyway, I’m getting to the point where I’m tired of teaching him how to love now. cause I think it’s time after 2 years he should know by now right?
I’ll give you an example of what i get out of him. we were discussing something about a female and i got upset and told him he can just f++k her then and he said I will today and when he said that it broke my heart hard. so, needless to say I was mad at him all day.
When we went to bed he said that if I said something like that to him it wouldn’t devistate his heart because of it. and that really hurt to cause it made me feel as though he doesn’t have any feelings for me at all. and whatever I say I guess wouldn’t hurt him is what I get from him.
So, my question to you is how in the world do you teach someone to love? not MAKE them love you but, to love. open up and tell you their feelings and express themselves like lovers do you know? if they have feelings for you shouldn’t they tell you when their feeling this? I know when I’m having a feeling for him I let him know. would you give me some advice please! — Indy
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Indy, you can’t teach someone to love. What you’re trying to do is make his displays of affection conform with your interpretation of what love is. He’s showing you, in his own way, the only way he knows, how he feels about you.
Your “discussion” sounds more like a heated argument and it doesn’t sound as though his response was out of line to your comment. Remember that all actions are going to have reactions. You were angry, he responded in anger. What else did you expect?
If you love this guy and want this relationship to last and grow, stop demanding that he “tell” you how he feels about you if he is already showing you that he is into this relationship by his actions.
Otherwise, if you need to hear the words, you’ll probably have to end it with this guy and find someone else who will tell you the things you need to hear. — Queenie