Dear Queenie, I just celebrated my one year anniversary with my girlfriend. We get along just great – we don’t really argue or fight. We are very considerate of each other’s feelings. To get to the point… in my opinion, we don’t have sex as often as i would like.
That wouldn’t be so much of a problem for me (i understand that everyone is busy and tired and would just like to get some rest) except that when I try to get her in the mood, I usually don’t get the exact response I’m looking for.
I feel that she is someone I can grow old with and still get along with but our sex life is just satisfactory. I’m only 25 so I feel that after one year having problems like this is a big warning sign. What do you make of this dilemna of mine? Your advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks for your time. — Peanut
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Peanut, if your sex life is unsatisfactory now while you’re dating, and you’re both on your best behaviors, what do you think it’s going to be like once you’re married? Marriage does not make unsatisfactory aspects of a relationship better, it intensifies how unsatisfactory they really are. Having unequal sexual requirements can be extremely detrimental in any relationship.
Perhaps, though, she wants more foreplay and you want to get right down to “doin’ it”. If that’s the case, then I’d suggest you work on foreplay and give her more romance to get her “in the mood”.
If nothing works to get your sexual compatibility closer together, counseling might be a good next step. Otherwise, I don’t see a really good future for this love relationship. — Queenie