I am 23 years old and I married a man that at first I didn’t love. I had feelings for him and cared for him, but I just wasn’t head over heels for him. I married him for stability and to offer my five year old daughter a family.
He treated me like I had never been treated before. He asked me to marry him 5 months into our relationship and I said yes. At that moment I thought that would be the best for my daughter and I. We were married four months after he proposed.
During the whole time I felt a little unsure and scared. I knew he loved me, since he had treated me so good during throughout the whole relationship, but there was only one thing.
A month before our marriage I started talking on my cell phone with a guy I used to date. We only talked as friends and before I knew it I would talk to him every time I was bored. I was always too afraid to see him, so I never did.
During our short marriage I believe I fell in love with my husband. Two months into our marriage my husband received my cell phone bill and of course called the guys number and figured out that I was talking to him. He requested the previous phone bills and figured it all out. That night he left and hasn?t been back since.
We have seen each other during this time (by the way it has already been six months) and I continue to wait for him. I am now four months pregnant from my husband and I am alone. He says that he just can?t forgive me and that he will never be able to be the sweet guy he once was.
Now everything I was suppose to feel when I first married him I feel now which is love. I am in love with him and now he doesn?t want me. He tells me to be patient and that he is trying to find feelings for me, but that he can?t, but that he is trying very hard.
I don?t know what to do. I have done everything to try to get him back. I have even apologized to his mother for everything that occurred. I just want one chance to prove to him I can be the wife that he deserves. We are having a baby and I want us to be a family. I regret what I did. I just don?t know what to do HELP!!
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He feels betrayed. While you didn’t have physical sex with your ex boyfriend you had an emotional “affair” that has destroyed your husband’s trust.
It doesn’t matter how you now feel or what you want, it will take time for him to learn forgiveness — if he can. It’s your mistake, and a big one. You cannot wipe out the past, or his pain by wishing it gone.
Your best move, in my opinion, would be to quit begging him to forgive you, quit trying to explain why you “cheated” (this is how he sees it), and start making a life for yourself, your daughter, and your new baby. Your husband is legally responsible for providing support for his child, even if he does decide that he cannot stay married to you. But, perhaps, if you stay away from your ex boyfriend, and don’t make any more big mistakes, when the baby is born he might just find that he wants to be part of the family once again.
It takes time. Forgiveness must be on his terms, not yours.
That’s what I think. — Queenie