Dear Queenie, I’ve been married for 10 years now, my husband had a back injury almost 4 years ago. He is on social security, but about a year ago he has healed enough to golf. He got a part time job at a golf course 2 days aweek and golfs now every chance he gets.
I have tried to be suppotive of his injuries but while I work 40+ hours aweek he gets to not work and play his favorite sport. I feel guilty because I am Jealous and tired of the excuses why he can’t work. He is under Dr care but still I feel like I am being used. I’m ready to call it quits because we fight on this subject. Any advice. — Annie in Oregon
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Annie, has his doctor said he can work full time? If so, then I think I’d be upset too. However, if his doctor doesn’t think he can work full time, and if social security is satisfied that he qualifies for benefits, then his part time work is the best he can do at this point and the golf is certainly excellent exercise for his mind as well as his body.
Let’s look at what may be the real problem: you’re jealous because he is doing what he enjoys while you have to WORK. Would you feel better if he hated his part time job and spent the rest of his time sitting unhappily at home? How would you feel if he got a full time job that he absolutely loved? Would you still feel jealous that he was doing something that gave him so much pleasure while you WORKED?
Take this for what it is worth: Refocus to you and see what you can do to make your job better… or consider how to get a job or a career that gives you pleasure. And, evaluate your marriage by making a detailed list of the good points and the bad points, then decide if you have a marriage that is bad enough to throw away or good enough to repair and save.
Just my opinion. It’s your life and you’ll have to live with the results of your actions, whatever they may be. — Queenie