Dear Queen of Hearts: My boyfriend and I have known each other 2 1/2 years. It’s been a rocky relationship from start to finish. I say finish because he said “good-bye” to me recently. I know I should move on and try and forget about him but he is one of a kind. I’ve never known a sweeter love than his. I’ve been married once and so has he.
I’d have to say our biggest hurdle has been communication. It’s either too much on his part or not enough on mine. We can’t seem to find a middle road. We both have a tremendous amount of passion and care for each other deeply.
When things are good between us we can’t get close enough to each other. But when they aren’t so good we take turns walking away and spend time alone to think things through. This time he said “good-bye.”
My question is.. “How do I get this man out of my skin so I can move forward.” I’ve heard all the cliches…You’re better off without him…time will heal all wounds… You deserve better… there’s other fish in the sea…etc. He’s 42 and I’m 46. We’re not kids, just 2 hearts that keep connecting and disconnecting.
How many times is enough actually enough? Thanks for listening. — Janee
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Janee, when you’ve spent 2-1/2 years in love with someone, even if it’s been rocky, it takes time to move past that love. It’s even more difficult when you’re the one who is left — there are a lot of unanswered questions and unresolved issues. You’ve gone through divorce and a breakup such as this is quite similar.
Did you and he connect too soon after your divorce for you to have “found” yourself? It won’t be easy and there’ll be a lot of tears along the way but the only way to get past this is to take it one step at a time, one day at a time. — Queenie