Hi Queenie, I was married to a man that was not affectionate at all for almost 8 years. We would make love about twice a year. To top it all I fell pregnant and has a 7yr old and 3yr old child from him. I divorced him two years ago.
As my divorce was finalized I met my present husband. We are now married for 6 months. He cannot handle it when the children is with their father and I check up to either say hi to my kids or to find out if they are fine. He accuses me of wanting my ex back. It will never happen in a million years, as my present hubby is very loving.
I am very worried now as it seems he is very insecure. We are both in our 40?s he don?t physically abuse me, but he keep saying it is clear that I want my ex back, then he says f off (sorry for the language) to your ex. He even checks my cell to see if my ex called or whether I called my ex. Other than that he is very in love with me, and has admitted he is scared he might loose me.
He does not drink and is very homely, a good provider and trustworthy. It is just horrible that when he gets angry he swears real ugly even if we are in public. I am very much in love with him, but am afraid my feelings will eventually die because of his behaviour. Please advise.
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You say that your husband does not physically abuse you, but his behavior about your ex is verbally and emotionally abusive. This can be worse than physical abuse.
Isn’t it strange that your husband would be so scared of losing you (or at least using that excuse) that he would act in a manner that would destroy the love you have for him? Perhaps it is his own insecurities but that’s no excuse for his behavior. A good and loving mother would want to keep in touch with her young children when they weren’t at home with her.
When divorce is involved, regardless of how bad the marriage may have been, there will always be a need to stay in contact with an ex because of the children. Too bad your husband doesn’t want to understand or accept this important fact.
My personal opinion is that your husband needs counseling to get over his insecurities and you need counseling to be able to make the best decision for yourself if he’s unable to do so. Right now, as things are, I don’t see your life being a happy one with this man. — Queenie