Her Husband’s Fantasy

My husband and I were 2 years into our marriage when he said he wanted to share a fantasy with me. Wanting him to be able to come to me and to trust me I opened my mind and begain listening. He told me he wanted to see me with another man.

My first feeling was confusion I didn’t understand how my husband the man who loved me would want to share me with another. My reaction was calm filled with allot of questions, what I was really feeling I did not show him for fear he would never share or trust me again.

I felt lucky on one hand, but on the other I questioned why he would want such a thing so soon into our marriage or at all for that matter. He told me at first he wanted to share something special between us and that it would be exciting.

To make a long story as short as possible this has gone on now for 9 years now and the only thing that turns him on is talking about seeing me with another man while we are having sex. Never touching me or asking me what my needs are, I found a magazine in his truck that was body builders, mostly men not to many women, because of this and all the talk of men I wondering could he be gay?

I thought when I married him we were sexually capatable and the fantasy talk would go away. It has progressed to the point that there is nothing left in the bedroom for me. When I asked him if he could be bisexual or gay he got so angry and mad for asking him that.

He is aware that I am not sexually satified and I have asked him to touch me and show me that I excite him, when I think he is going to fulfill my needs and starts touching me he starts talking to me about other men etc. all I wanted was him to be excited by me not a fantasy. What do I do? I don’t like wondering if my husband is gay or what is the problem……..please help me. — Beth

Beth, the two of you need to get into counseling to find out why he needs to see you having sex with other men instead of keeping your bedroom action between just the two of you, and to find out why you would actually go along with such a thing for so many years.

There’s too much involved for me to make any comments other than I think you both need counseling to get your marriage and your sex life back on track. — Queenie