My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years now. We’ve known each other since we were kids. We both married, raised a family, and now both divorced. It was good in the beginning of our relationship, but then all relationships are good in the beginning right? We both have alot in common; music, movies, kids, etc.
The problem is recently, for the last month or so, he’s been distant. When we’re together, he’s quiet, seems to himself, and in a daze like. I ask him if he’s okay or if something is wrong. He always seems so far away. He tells me no, nothing is wrong. Why do you always ask me if something is wrong.
He tends to snap alot faster than usual. He picks on everything little thing I do or say. Things that never bothered him before. Things that were okay with him. Now it’s like, why this and why that. And he’s really quick to say “if you don’t like it then leave and find someone else.” He says that alot! I asked him if he wanted to go our separate ways and he tells me it’s up to me.
He always told me before all this that I was the one for him and that he never wants to lose me! We planned on getting married this year, but I’m not sure now if we should because of the way it’s been.
I asked him if there’s someone else and he gets really defensive and pissed off when that one is bought up. I don’t know what to do. His words are really harsh and hurtful at times! I don’t think he realizes that! And he would always apologize when that happened. Now it’s like “it’s past already, leave it alone!”
Is there someone else on his mind? Should I keep trying to work this out? He feels there isn’t a problem. How can I make him see that there is? How can I get him to open up to me and tell me what’s bothering him? — Donna
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Donna, there’s a reason the two of you didn’t get married many years ago and I suspect that reason is what’s beginning to destroy your relationship now. Some people can get along very well for a short time but can’t make it for the long distance. Things won’t get better with marriage, they might get quite a bit worse and it would be a shame to continue toward marriage with things the way they currently are.
Perhaps there is someone else. Or maybe he just isn’t ready to get back into a committed relationship sealed by marriage. If you’re all talked out or he won’t talk about the relationship, it might be time for you to walk away from it for a while. Give him space and take the time to consider your options. If the two of you are meant to be, you will. But you should be with a lot more caring attitude going into marriage. — Queenie