Dear Queenie, my bf of 7yrs. works in banking. he has been fired several times or just gets moved around to different banks. every time he goes to a new branch or bank he get infatuated with a co worker. I have only known him 7 years but before that I think it was the same when he was married. Most of the ladies I think are flattered but not really interested in him as he is not very good looking. one lady a few years ago lead him on I think to make her other boyfriend jealous or for gifts that he would lavish on her. as a rule he is not very gorgeous.
At the time I didn’t know all this was going on but believed him when he said he was working late. even on the one date night we had he was constantly working late. how I found out was he asked me to wait at his house for him till he comes home. where I read his email and found out he was really at dinner with her and friends from the bank.
I was devastated. ok here is the dumb part I did not dump him. I knew she really didn’t like him and I didn’t want to lose or something, I don’t really know the reason I just felt I didn’t want to lose him.
Ok fast forward 4 years later. Now he is working late again when we are supposed to go out. I somehow was believing him when he said he had to work late, I guess I started trusting him. he left me alone again twice. the last time he called and said he was sorry and for me to call him on the way home. which I didn’t do, all I was thinking was you are a fool again.
He didn’t even call or email me to see if I even go home safe and it was late at night. I have not called him in a week. I am confused. half of me believes him and half does not. he did just buy me expensive earrings for Christmas.
Do you think there is anyway he is telling the truth and has to work late. he is not the manager and the bank had closed at 5 and he went in at 9 and said he got off at 9, he keeps saying the same thing they had lost or misplaced money and had to find it.
I don’t want to be a fool again. I don’t know what to do. Do I really want to stay with someone who would rather be with someone else or puts me 2 or 3rd I really don’t. but don’t know how to get over this or move on. sorry this so long.
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If this loser of a boyfriend hasn’t changed his ways in seven years, what motivation does he have to change now? You stick around regardless of what he does or doesn’t do so why should he treat you any better? You’ll believe anything he tells you, and if he needs to push a little he buys something sparkly.
I don’t know what to tell you to encourage you to end this relationship. You need to have respect for yourself because he definitely doesn’t have any for you. As far as whether or not he is telling the truth? Given his past, what do you think? And, the not calling to see if you got home safely and no contact since? I guess he knows the earrings will draw you back for more.
Give yourself a nice Christmas present — dump this dog and get yourself a pet that will give you the unconditional love you deserve. That’s my opinion since you asked. — Queenie