Hi Queenie, I’m just curious, why have you not responded to my latest emails? Are you disgusted/done with me? Or are you simply too busy? Just so you know, my MM’s father recently died, and I still have not called him. It happened last Sunday. I really want to just send him a message that I care, but don’t want to get into that whole mess again. Should I contact him? Can I? He hasn’t been at work for me to contact him safely. I figure he’s got enough going on.
I really (at this point) want to send him my condolences, only to let him know that I care. But not in that way. What should I do????? Any help you can give will be greatly appreciated!!! Thanks,
……………………………………………..
No, I’m not disgusted but I sensed I was becoming your online therapist and I’d rather someone else have that responsibility. I’d rather not offer suggestions on how you can find people to date or how you can keep in touch with this MM so that you’re around if/when he has a moment of weakness.
As far as a message regarding his father, and no doubt you’ve already sent him one and maybe the two of you are back in some sort of relationship, but do for him what you’d do for any of your other co-workers. If you’d contact one of them if their father died, contact him in the same manner. Or, better yet, if the rest of the people working with him are sending a card, be sure to sign it.
As far as letting him know you care? Why should that matter? Why wouldn’t he think that anyone who knows him and his family would “care” about their loss?
You said he hasn’t been at work for you to “contact him safely.” I assume that means so that he can respond without his wife getting suspicious. I think you want to “let him know that you care” in the hopes he’ll call/write/email and get something going again.
I don’t know what you’ve done in the two weeks since you wrote but I’ll bet it’s probably not something I’ve suggested. — Queenie
