Hi. First off let me say thank you again. I appreciate your advice!!! Now (please) let me continue with my saga: First, I just want to clear the air, I have NEVER visioned myself as the other woman, nor do we enjoy being in this situation. We fully understand the circumstances and atleast I know that right now, it IS an emotional affair. I am sure he has no idea what an emotional affair is. But I WILL educate him the next time I see him!!!
We did not plan for this to happen. And I can see you right now, judging us.
The only reason that we talked about how many times he and his wife have sex is because I asksed. I wanted to know if they have a healthy relationship? And it seem’s that they do. A third of me know’s that this is just a ride for the thrill, a third of me think’s I can help him and his wife stay together by introducing, for arguments sake let’s just say, the kama sutra, then the last third screams that he is my soul mate. And that’s where the confusion comes in.
Just to say it, we’ve talked about having sex, the what if’s (we did), and honestly I can say that sex is NOT an option. Neither of us would EVER go that far!!!! Ever!!!!
You ask if him and I were to marry, how long until he has an ‘innocent’ dinner with another lonely woman that has the same connection(s) with him? I say there won’t be another like this for a very long time. These are the connections that come around once maybe twice, in a lifetime. Period. Whether you believe it or not.
First I don’t see us ever being married. Simply because I don’t believe in the sanctity of marriage anymore. I know that so many people cheat that there is no such thing. Ok, I take that back, there are VERY FEW marriages that will end with the death of both spouses having been eternally faithful. I believe that sometimes people outgrow eachother. I’m not saying that this is the case in my situation. But I am testing the waters to try to find out what exactly is going on with him and his wife.
I think that for people to stay in a committed relationship when they are not happy is absurd. For either spouse. And it certainly does not benefit the children to be around parent’s that they know are miserable.
My original question was simply: Do you believe that him and I MAY (just maybe) have a connection stronger than the actual physical aspect of the realtionship?
Do you believe in love at first site?
You say that you’ve been there (here)? Obviously it didn’t end up with you and yours being together, and I have no false pre-concieved notions that we will “end up” together, but why do you come across so defensive if you yourself understand the games that one’s mind can play on itself when the issues are blurred by love?
Do you not believe that there are soul mates for every single person on this earth? I believe in more than one soul mate per person, depending on what stage in your life you are at. And what you are ready for.
Having said that, I have this horrible feeling of doubt (because he didn’t call) that he is going to “break up with me tomorrow. Which 50% of me is fine with, but then there is that other half that beg’s him not to (in my mind).
We are supposed to meet up Friday night. Let me just clarify, it’s not at a dirty hotel or aynthing like that. It’s only supposed to be for a few minutes to, I guess check in with eachother.
I guess we’ll see what happens?
Queenie, PLEASE dont judge me. I AM lost and I find you very informative!!!!
Thank you again!!!! — Me
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It doesn’t matter what I think so I’m going to bow out of this discussion and refer you to a site where you’ll find the support you’re looking for, a site by the other woman for The Other Woman.
Good luck. — Queenie