Hi, my wife left me and went to live with her parents a year and a half ago, we had only been married about two years when she left. I haven’t seen anyone else since she left, and she says neither has she.
When she left she said we could try living an “unconventional marrige” I wasn’t sure what she ment by that and still don’t, but in the past year and a half since she left we haven’t done anything togeather, we hardly see each other, mabey once a month, although we do talk on the phone about 3 or 4 times a week, but only for a few minutes at a time.
I guess I should tell you a bit of history, my wife comes from a family with money, her parents own a very large expensive home with all the modern conviences that money can buy, when we were married she moved into my home with her kids (she has 2 from a previous marrige) My home is very modest compared to the one she was used to living in, she was never happy here. She used to say that it was too small, and it is in the country which she also didn’t like.
My mom is elderly and in poor health, so I invited her to live in my house instead of living alone it is a duplex so my mom lived upstairs in her own apartment and my wife and the kids lived downstairs, but my wife and mother didn’t see eye to eye on very many things.
Also my wife comes from a very strict religous family who don’t belive in the consumption of any beverages containing alcohol which led to another problem between us. At the end of a work week usually on a Friday night I would bring home a few beer and drink them while watching TV, when we were dating she never said anything about me drinking, in fact she used to drink with me, but after we were married she didn’t want me to drink at all, even though I wasn’t abusive or anything like that while drinking.
So all of these things togeather made her leave. I have asked my wife if we will ever live togeather again as a husband and wife, she has said that I would have to make the house bigger by adding on a couple rooms (which I can’t afford to do) give up drinking completely (which I am willing to do) renovate the entire house (which I also can’t afford to do).
Sorry I have rambled on so long, but my question is should I tell my wife that we should go our seperate ways and see other people, or should I hang in there hoping that someday things will work out for us..I still love her…
……………………………………..
I don’t see much of a marriage here. You’ve been married for three years and living apart for the past year and half. There seem to be too many problems needing fixing and no real cooperation between the two of you. Why prolong this?
She knows you can’t afford the renovations and she’d rather live in her parents’ big house than her husband’s home so compromise is gone there. You’re not going to make your mother live elsewhere even if it would decrease the problems between your wife and your mother, so no compromise there. And, even though you say you are willing to stop drinking completely, you haven’t yet, so no positive action there.
Don’t “see other people.” End this marriage legally, get a grip on your life, and then, when you’re emotionally level, start dating again.
That’s just my opinion, of course. — Queenie