Is He Really Getting a Divorce?

I have been involved involved with a man for four years. In the early stages of our courtship, he told me he was separated from his wife for a year, and that he had a four year old daughter. At the beginning our our relationship, these facts did not bother me.

As our relationship ran into the second year, I told him I was bothered that he was seeing me and still not divorced. His response was that the divorce was difficult because there was a child involved, and that his ex-wife was irrational and he couldn’t do anything (i.e. argue with his ex) to jeapordize his ability to see his daughter.

I discussed with him that if this indeed was true, then the only way to not jeapordize his relationship with his daughter was to get a legal divorce. So he obtained a lawyer two years ago.

Now I am into the fourth year of this relationship, and still no divorce. The last two years of our relationship have been rocky because I do not want to give any more to this relationship until I see that he wants to sever his ties to his ex. I have told him I am not asking for marriage, I just want us both to be on equal ground.

He tells me he is waiting for the ex to sign the papers, and that he is afraid of losing me, and there is nothing left he can do, but he assures me that he loves me and wants nothing to do with her.

I have stayed because I have developed a relationship with his daughter, now 8, whom I have grown to love. But I don’t believe him anymore, and when I tell him I don’t want to have anything to do with him until his divorce papers are signed, he tries even harder to get me to stay with him. Am I wasting my time, or do some divorces really take this long? Confused.

There’s nothing to be confused about when you understand exactly what roles each of you have in this scenario. She isn’t his “ex” she is his wife. You are the Other Woman in this marriage. He is a man who cheats on his wife.

If you’re looking for true love you need to pull yourself out of this marriage, kick this guy to the curb, and date people who aren’t married. — Queenie