Advice at FRIENDS & Lovers

It’s a wonderful thing to be in love with another person. Before your marriage fell apart you knew what it was to be in love and loved by someone else, didn’t you? Continue reading →

Can’t convince them to change their ways? Desperation definitely won’t help your cause. When your marriage splits into thousands of fragments, none of which you can put back together, desperation becomes a way of life. Continue reading →

Do you remember how you dreaded coming home because you had to face her? Listen to the gripes, the complaints, the accusations? Remember when he’d walk in the door and all you could think of doing was trying to hide? Remember the bad times? Continue reading →

At the holidays more than any other time of the year we are supposed to feel particularly warm and fuzzy toward our family and friends. It’s a nice goal but the holidays are dreadful for people involved in unhappy relationships. I just put a lot of different reasons for dreading the holidays into the phrase “unhappy relationships.” Being alone because of divorce isn’t the only reason you might dread the holidays. Continue reading →

Divorce can make us feel as though we are missing a major part of ourselves… the part that validates our worth… the part that gives us a reason for being. If this person — the center of our entire universe — feels we aren’t worth “keeping,” if this person to whom we have devoted our life is dumping us by the roadside like a bag of garbage, why would anyone else believe we would have value? Most of all, how can we possibly believe ourselves to have value? How can we feel good about ourself? Continue reading →

For anyone who is going through a divorce, the holiday season ranks right up there with root canals as a fun time. And why shouldn’t it? It’s a time when families get together and share all the warmth and love they’ve stored up all year long for each other. Continue reading →

When things are going badly in our lives it’s easy to develop tunnel vision with a focus on the negative aspects of the life we have. I’ve found that adversity can be a powerful stimulant for positive change, even if I wasn’t looking for changes at the time. Continue reading →

As much as I hate to join with the rest of the world in discussion about Princess Diana and her life, there is no divorce in recent times that was in the spotlight than hers. Every step, every turn, every breath came under minute scrutiny and then was put into the media for public consumption. Continue reading →

It was the grandest wedding of all! And so it has been through the years, the two of you, side-by-side, the perfect couple, sharing all of life’s good times — and bad — as only two people in love can do! Not! Continue reading →

He wrote requesting information about alienation of affection lawsuits. That’s not what he called it but that’s what he was looking for because he wanted to take his wife’s lover to court for breaking up his marriage. Continue reading →

I’ve been divorced twice. The first time, after quite a lengthy marriage, my personal midlife crisis began and I decided there had to be more in this life than my marriage and my husband were capable of providing. My husband was not happy I was leaving. Not because he loved me, but because I disrupted a routine he had grown comfortable with. Continue reading →

Some people are so afraid of being alone that they would rather stay in a bad marriage or they will rush into a new relationship to avoid being alone. And yet, you can be more alone in a bad marriage than you’ll ever be by yourself. Continue reading →

Picture this: You’re watching a suspenseful movie… the nice (but painfully naive) young man hears a sound at the door, gets up, and against his better judgment, and certainly with no encouragement from us, goes over to the door and asks “Who’s there?” Continue reading →

Divorce intimidates people. You learn just how much when you’re dealing with your own divorce and some of your friends stop calling “just to talk” and they are always too busy to get together. Continue reading →

Most major shopping malls have locator maps at various spots, a red “X” with an arrow pointing to it and the words “You Are Here” so that you can see how close or how far you are to the place you really want to be. Similar maps can be found at highway rest stops to show travelers where they’ve been and the distance and roads to their destinations. Continue reading →