Advice at FRIENDS & Lovers

His wife kept telling him she was unhappy but it wasn’t until she finally filed for divorce that he took her seriously. By that time, it was too late. He says she didn’t tell him she was that unhappy. He says he would have done things differently if she had. Continue reading →

When your spouse wants a divorce it can be devastating. It’s very easy to wonder what you could have done or should have done to keep him or her from leaving. It’s all too easy to take their actions personally thinking that the reason they’re leaving is because of something you’ve done. And, in some cases, that’s exactly why they’re giving up on the marriage. Continue reading →

If there’s one undeniable truth we all eventually learn, it’s that we are ultimately responsible for the outcome of our own lives. We cannot control the forces of nature, “Acts of God,” or the acts of other people. How our lives are played out, what we get and give, is under our control. Continue reading →

Divorce begins long before the legalities start. Divorce begins when your marriage turns sour, when you wonder if it’s worth the fight, when the gentle touch turns to abuse, when the occasional drink turns into uncontrolled alcoholism, or when you learn your spouse hasn’t been truthful in the relationship and knowing that truth you begin deciding whether you should stay or go. Continue reading →

They’ve been married for less than a year and apparently there’s not been much good about their marriage so far. They dated five years prior to their wedding and things weren’t so great then either but they went ahead with the marriage anyway. She’s now met someone who she likes and doesn’t know how to tell her husband she wants a divorce. Continue reading →

He wrote asking me to point him toward information about trust in a marriage. He said his wife didn’t trust him, not because he had betrayed the marriage but because she didn’t trust him to do anything — from managing their finances to planning vacations — as well as she could. Continue reading →

Can you remember when you first stopped trusting someone you loved? Or perhaps stopped trusting an acquaintance? You weren’t born mistrusting other people. You learned to hold back your complete trust the first time, or the second time, or the third time you got hurt for trusting someone who was less than honest with you. Continue reading →

Stay or go? It’s one of the top questions when someone starts looking for information about divorce. Should they try to save save their marriage or should they call it quits? The answer is unique to each of us. Continue reading →

During their 12-year marriage, his wife had cancer surgery, they faced bankruptcy, his mother died, their home was vandalized, and his wife left him and their young son to be with her boyfriend. After leaving, she told everyone he was abusive which he says was a lie. Therapy didn’t work and their attempts at reconciliation leave him scared and confused. He doesn’t know what to do. Continue reading →

After 25 years, his wife wants out of their marriage. He admits that their marriage has problems and says he hasn’t been the best husband. They’ve been barely speaking and sleeping in separate bedrooms. He wants her to go to counseling with him but says she isn’t willing to attempt to fix what’s broken. He’s facing a job transfer as well as divorce. Continue reading →

They’ve been married four months; they had a five month courtship. Friends warned him that she had an unsavory past but he brushed off their concerns. Now he finds that she has lied about her past as well as the present. He says he married for life but doesn’t know how he can live with a habitual liar. Continue reading →

They have dealt with many serious issues throughout their 15-year marriage. Those issues have brought them to a crossroads. It’s time to commit and repair their marriage or let go and move on. She isn’t sure if she can get back the feelings she used to have for him. Continue reading →

Their marriage seems perfect except for one thing: he wants children and she doesn’t. He’s willing to wait for her to change her mind but isn’t sure that she will and wonders if this is an irreconcilable difference that will lead to divorce. Continue reading →

She wrote: “I want to tell my husband I want a divorce and I am having a hard time coming up with the right words to say it.” Continue reading →

Only you can decide if your marriage is too bad to stay in it. Regardless of advice others give you, they won’t have to live your life. Weigh the advantages of staying against the advantages of leaving. If leaving significantly outweighs staying, your choice should be fairly simple. Continue reading →