Advice at FRIENDS & Lovers

He wrote: “I am currently being divorced by my wife. The only problem in our marriage was my binge drinking. We were best friends and I guess my wife feels she has no alternative but to divorce me. I have been trying to stay sober, but could not go more than about two months without a relapse. Then, I would hang my head with regret and embarrassment and go back to AA.” Continue reading →

No one purposely seeks out problem drinkers or alcoholics for life mates. In many cases, the drinking becomes a problem long after we have settled into a marriage. Long after we have placed ourselves in the hands of this man or this woman that we treasure above all others. Continue reading →

She wrote: “Please help me, My husband has been drinking for years, he drink while my children were at home. I stay with him for the children sake. We have grown girls now all married. I always wanted to leave, but he said I could never take his girls. He always told me I had nowhere to go, he would never let me work, so here I am stuck. I have no skills.” Continue reading →

Verbal abusers pick their victims well and most of the time they keep the abuse behind closed doors with no witnesses. Their public persona is so totally different than the one they save for the husband or wife or child who bears the force of their cutting words. Continue reading →

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me.” – African Proverb.

Most of us were probably taught that little chant when we were fairly young. Words can’t hurt. Ignore them. Let them slide off your back. Maybe one of your parents repeated them to you when you came home in tears because someone in school called you “fatso,” or “stupid,” or “fag.” Maybe the incident, which may have been one of many, was brushed off as “just kid’s play,” nothing to be concerned about. And so the next time you just hung your head and kept on going, maybe with that little chant playing in your mind. Continue reading →

She is planning to leave an abusive marriage as soon as she gets a full-time job. Because her twin sons are also verbally abusive toward her, she plans on leaving home alone so she can rebuild her self-esteem. She wonders if this will make her an unfit mother. Continue reading →

She has been dating a divorced dad for over three years and their relationship has progressed to talk of marriage. The problem is his 24-year old daughter who doesn’t want another woman in her father’s life and is giving ultimatums. Continue reading →

He wrote to say that he has been in a physically and verbally abusive marriage for the past 15 years. He has not been happy for a long time, is no longer in love with his wife, and feels the marriage is over. Despite counseling for the both of them, there have been no positive changes in their relationship. Continue reading →