Recently I began dating someone I have known through my family for 20 years. I knew him and his wife as a couple prior to their divorce. My husband died three years ago, and I have two children, 10 and 11.


Out of the blue he asked me for a dinner date. We laughed from the time we met to the time we left each other?s company. He is an attractive man who says I am model gorgeous. We love the same music, the same events, and have very similar upbringing.

Our physical relationship is unbelievable. He calls it earthshaking. After two weeks he told me he loved me. I was reluctant at first, but lowered my wall and fell hard. This summer my children were at camp for six weeks, and we spent every day of the six weeks together.

We talked about our future. He would say, ?Will you still rub my neck like that in six years?? Or, ?I was looking for houses in that neighborhood you like.? He has two teenagers and is a wonderful father, but he feels tremendous guilt for ending his marriage three years ago.

Two weeks ago he said he thinks I am deeper emotionally than he is. The following week he told me he went to see his counselor because he doesn?t want to be a father to someone else?s kids. He said if that wasn?t an issue, he would know he found his soul mate.

After mulling things over for a week, he concluded he should end our relationship. He was visibly upset and said this is hard for him, but he can?t see his opinion changing. He is attracted to me physically, emotionally, and mentally. The only drawback is my children.

When he told me that about the kids, my initial response was, ?Then don?t waste my time!? We talked briefly about reconciliation, and his only concern was me giving him a choice in a year or two. What now?

Denise

Denise, this man doesn?t want to spend a nickel of his money or an hour of his time on someone else?s children. And that someone else is you, supposedly his soul mate. He has always known about your children. That you both have children should be a bond you share.

He has a right to be himself. He doesn?t have a right to use others. He doesn?t have a right to say things which made you believe he was headed toward marriage, when he knew he was just headed toward your bedroom.

Wayne