Last year I cheated on my girlfriend and she found out. It was awful. We broke up and I undertook therapy, which was a great thing for me to do. She was and continues to be in therapy, and she is a therapist herself.


When we got back together, we were very codependent. It seems we were not totally able to rebuild trust. Though we traveled and practically lived together the last few months, we also got into criticism wars about the most stupid things.

Last month she found a job. I criticized her for not committing more to our relationship and for spending too much time working. She became attracted to her boss. This guy, who has offered her lots of money not to leave, values her professionally.

A week ago she broke up with me. At first she said it has nothing to do with her job, then she admitted she had strong feelings for her boss. Now they have already spent nights together. I am devastated.

I am currently unemployed and living at my mother’s, and he is older and successful. I really love her and want her back. I have a wild hope this is all about getting even and that she will come back to me in time.

Mac

Mac, I have a wild hope this is all about you getting your life together. What you need to focus on is getting a job, standing on your own two feet, and paying your own bills.

You’re clinging to a relationship in which you are in therapy, your girlfriend is in therapy, she is a therapist, and she is sleeping with her boss, a therapist. Maybe, just maybe, therapy isn’t going to save this relationship.

You are jobless and dependent on your mother. Being with your girlfriend would be a definite step up for you, but if you were pursuing a career and lived in a place of your own, the world would look different to you.

Right now you are looking for a relationship to help you out of your hole. You need to focus on helping yourself out of the hole.

Tamara